Reading one of your older columns today, I came across this. “All the pain in this world is caused by unhappy, thwarted, frustrated people. Happy people don’t hurt other people. They enrich the planet and bring fulfillment to others.”

While I like to think I’m one of the happy people bringing fulfillment to others, I am continually thwarted in my attempts at relationships. Time and time again men represent themselves to me falsely, and time and time again I fail to see it until it is too late. Then I turn into one of those unhappy, frustrated people.

I suspect the key is to let go mentally, but my problem is twofold. First, I want to date. Second, if I keep dating, I keep getting into bad experiences and am unable to let go of them. It’s like being stuck in traffic. You put up with it, but eventually the frustration builds to intolerable levels.

How on earth can I learn to avoid sleazebags without stopping dating altogether? I feel like the most idiotic person in the world.

Tally

Tally, if you are getting hurt, then you’re hanging on too long.

The balance of power has changed, and women haven’t acknowledged it. In an older time, all women had to offer was their virtue. They were dependent on men. Today few men are the sole support of their family. Stop giving the thing women give which makes them emotionally attached to a man—the thing which men prize when not easily given.

A man in marriage gets a maid, a mistress, a cook, the mother of his children, and usually, a second income. What does a woman get? Without love, all she gets is someone to share expenses.

Why are you not best served by preserving the one asset you know the other party wants. That’s what you need to protect, bank on, and prize. It doesn’t matter whether you prize it; men prize it. In Aristophanes’ play “Lysistrata” women withheld sex in order to stop a war. That is not the only cause–nor the only good cause–which is to a woman’s advantage.

Tamara

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com — Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com Web Site: www.WayneAndTamara.com

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